Hardest of Hearts
by vampiregirl125
Summary: based on the song by florence   the machine. matt/mello. rated for mello's language and implied guy on guy. I'm not sure I like it, so feedback is greatly appreciated xP


**There is love in your body but you can't hold it in**

**It pours from your eyes and spills from your skin**

**Tenderest touch leaves the darkest of marks**

**And the kindest of kisses break the hardest of hearts**

**The hardest of hearts**

**The hardest of hearts**

**The hardest of hearts**

**There is love in your body but you can't get it out**

**It gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth**

**Sticks to your tongue and shows on your face**

**That the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste**

"Jesus, Melz, what did you do?" The redhead was behind him, juggling bandages and various disinfectants, gauze and scissors, and a bottle of mouthwash.

"The fuck is that for?" Mello spared a jerk of his head in the direction of the green bottle before he returned his glare to the blood that was slowly seeping through the towel he'd pressed to the right side of his abdomen.

"Huh?" Matt looked down at everything in his arms. "Oh. I don't know man, I just grabbed everything we had in there. Wasn't really paying attention."

"Clearly." He pulled the towel away gingerly, revealing a shallow but profusely bleeding gouge in his stomach.

"Here. Let me do it." Matt reached for him, but Mello turned away, and the redhead's fingers brushed gently across his side, making his skin burn from something other than pain.

"No. Go back to bed." He upended one of the disinfectants onto a fresh towel, tossing the blood-soaked one towards the sink.

"Melz, quit fucking around. Let me help you."

"It's just a scratch," Mello snapped. He pushed Matt's reaching hands away and pressed the new towel against his middle, wincing as the chemicals sizzled into his injured skin.

Matt was silent for a few moments, but finally he sighed. "Come get me if you need me." He pressed his lips to Mello's shoulder for a brief but infinite second and then retreated to the back bedroom, leaving the frozen and speechless blonde at the kitchen table.

**Darling heart, I loved you from the start**

**But you'll never know what a fool I've been**

**Darling heart, I loved you from the start**

**But that's no excuse for the state I'm in**

Matt slowly turned the stained towel over and over in his hands, running it back and forth through the icy water, but the dark patches lingered. _Just like Mello._ He ignored the slice of pain that drove through his mind at the thought; he'd gotten good at ignoring most of his thoughts and urges. _Except when you kissed him. God, what the fuck were you thinking? _Matt chuckled darkly to himself. "You weren't," he answered aloud. _Well, I hope you enjoyed your moment with him, because he'll probably be gone for a few weeks now. Nice job._

Matt sighed, tossed the towel into the garbage, and went back to the apartment's single bedroom. He reached for a cigarette, then glanced at the clock and thought the better of it. He shucked off his shirt and tossed it onto the chair, crawled into bed, and prayed that he wouldn't dream.

**The hardest of hearts**

**The hardest of hearts**

**The hardest of hearts**

He sped through the streets at well past midnight, glaring out at the world through the dark-tinted shell of his helmet, screeching around the sharpest possible turns, pushing the bike as fast as he could force it to go. Of course, it was far from fast enough to outrun what he was trying to escape.

Mello shook his head, clenched his teeth, and twisted the throttle so hard he thought it might break. _He didn't mean it like that. Stop thinking about it. You're the smartest… goddamnit, Near, SECOND smartest… yeah, that's good, think about Near. Get your mind away from Matt._

A few minutes later he rounded another corner and found himself somehow back at the apartment. _He kissed you_. The thought rang unwelcome in his head. Mello stared up at their window, dark as the night around it.

_Aw, fuck it. _

He parked the bike, took the stairs two at a time, and silently let himself in. He was about to take his usual spot on the couch, but the echo of Matt's lips seemed to burn like fire on his skin. He reached up and slowly traced the shape of the redhead's mouth where it had touched his shoulder, and then he turned into the bedroom and carefully slipped under the blankets beside his sleeping best friend.

**There is love in our bodies and it holds us together**

**But it pulls us apart when we're holding each other**

**We all want something to hold in the night**

**We don't care if it hurts or we're holding too tight**

**There is love in your body but you can't get it out**

**It gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth**

**Sticks to your tongue and it shows on your face**

**That the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste**

Matt woke up with a start; his prayers hadn't been answered. It was the same dream he'd been having for months, the same nightmare he couldn't seem to shake. He rolled over—and bashed right into someone else in his bed.

"Christ!" He shot up and was about to leap away and reach for his gun when he realized that he recognized those shoulders, that mussed blonde hair, those slim leather-clad legs.

…_Mello?_

This was certainly new. Mello always slept on the couch. It was a defense mechanism. Mello guarded the front and back doors, and if someone came through the bedroom window, Matt would take care of it. Having both of them in one room just wasn't smart.

_Is that really the reason?_ Somewhere deep down, Matt was pretty sure it wasn't.

Carefully, Matt eased himself back onto the bed and dropped his head onto the pillow. Even though this movement was much more subtle than his abrupt jump before, Mello's eyes popped open.

Matt froze. "Uh. Sorry." He hoped that was the right thing to say.

The blonde turned onto his side so that they were facing each other, their bodies mere inches apart. For a long moment, neither of them even dared to breathe. Finally, Mello cracked the tension.

"Why?"

The question Matt had been hoping for, yet simultaneously dreading. The one question that could save him or sink him, the one word that was guaranteed to change everything.

Their eyes were locked. Neither could look away. Time seemed to halt. Matt tested the grounds. "You know why," he whispered, his voice catching only slightly.

Mello's eyes closed, and for a moment Matt felt his world stop. But then the blonde bit his lip and smirked softly. "I know." He lifted his arm and tenderly brushed Matt's hair off his forehead, fingertips lingering as, for a moment, he cradled Matt's face in his hand. This time Matt's world seemed to be spinning at a hundred times the normal rate.

"If you know…" His breathing was too ragged with emotion for him to get the sentence out. "If you know, then why are you here? With me? Like this?"

_Please, God, don't let me be mistaken._

Instead of pulling away, as Matt had feared, his best friend leaned fearlessly closer. He slid his arms around Matt's skinny body, tightening his grip until there was no space left; leg to leg, hip to hip, chest to chest, face to face. His lips brushed across Matt's, his voice a low, sexy whisper. "You know why."

**Darling heart, I loved you from the start**

**But you'll never know what a fool I've been**

**Darling heart, I loved you from the start**

**But that's no excuse for the state I'm in**

**The hardest of hearts**

**The hardest of hearts**

**The hardest of hearts**

**Can't stop myself before it's too late**

**Hold on to your heart**

**'Cause I'm coming to take it**

**Hold on to your heart**

**'Cause I'm coming to break it**


End file.
